Beliefs and The Welfare Bear - Dip Talk #2

Hey, Indy Dipper here. I'm dipping some Old Faithful right now and I'm going to be talking about how I'm feeling right now. I just saw something that pissed me off to no end. I just saw a post that called out a whole group of people based on what they believed. I'm going to throw this out there, I'm a Christian. I believe in the word of God and the fact that his son died on the cross as a sacrifice for me and everyone out there. I may not live an ideal lifestyle. I mean, I drink, I curse, and of course I dip, but I know that the One that created this whole universe and the people and creatures in it, loves me so much that he sent his son to live on this earth and to spread the teachings of the Divine to people that didn't necessarily deserve to know Him. I mean, to you that may sound ridiculous, but to me it's the most immaculate piece of history ever told. I'm not going to judge you for what you believe. I'm no saint myself, but I feel that the people standing on their soap boxes saying that there's no God should be more accepting of of what I believe as well as what everyone else believes. It sometimes seems like the people speaking on the behalf of homosexuals and races that have been oppressed and other things that are hot button issues are the most hostile towards Christians. I'm just saying, if you're rude to someone because of the actions of a few people who claim to represent a belief or race then you should receive the same things that you wish on the ones that you hurt. Here's an example, if you had a kid who went to school and was persecuted for the thing that he believed in or for the color of his skin or because of something that you did, would you allow the abuse from his peers continue? If you're like me, you'd be madder than hell and you'd go down to the school and sort things out and you'd make damn sure that it didn't happen again. You'd be mad that someone was doing wrong by someone you love. Well, when people speak against out against my beliefs or the people that serve the same God as I do, it's basically like you're hurting my son. I love my brothers and sister in Christ as much or maybe more than you love your kid and I love my Lord and savior more than that. So, there we go. That's how I feel. Indy Dipper out.

My Skoal Realization

So, I needed dip tonight. This is a normal occurence for me, so nothing out of the ordinary took place during this dip run. I went up to the counter and the lady asked me what I wanted and I was like the usual plus a can of Skoal Apple. You know, because it's one of my favorite dips of all time. I described this in my "5 favorite dips" post. Oh never mind. Anyway, so she gives me the cans and I paid and that was it. BAM! Dip was picked up and I was on my way home. I got through the door and sat down on my love seat. I cracked the can of Skoal Apple, sniffed the contents of the can, and immediately felt nauseous. I was confused. Never has this happened to me before. I love this stuff. Why is it giving me an upset stomach? I ignored the fact that my stomach was turning and proceeded to put a pinch in. I sat there for a second and I realized something. This shit is gross. I took it out and cleaned my mouth out the best I could. Why have you betrayed me, Skoal Apple? I used to love you and now you taste like your evil Berry twin. All Skoal favors are the devil and they should be burned at the stake for an abomination  against all dip kind. This really hit me hard, but any way to conclude this post, I'm just gonna say one thing. FUCK YOU SKOAL AND ALL OF YOUR NASTINESS. Indy Dipper out!

Memorial Day Reflection

Hey y'all. Indy Dipper here. I'm going to change up my writing style for this post. It's going to be a little more serious than usual. It's about Memorial Day. Now, most people think of today as a day off work or school or whatever it is that y'all are getting a break from, but the real reason that this is such a prestigious holiday is for the sole fact that some of the brave men and women that go over seas to fight for your freedom, didn't get to come home and relax on this day. You may be thinking today is going to be the best day to cook out or it's the best day to go fishin' or whatever your plans are, but just take a moment and say a prayer for the families of the ones that made the ultimate sacrifice for you and me. Over a million courageous people have lost their lives protecting what this great country stands for, giving us the right to wake up every morning without fear. I'm proud to say that I'm an American citizen. I'm also proud to say that I'm the way I am because of the sacrifice that these men and women have made. So, just think about that today as you're lighting up your grill or casting out your line. Keep that in mind and I know that the interweb is a BIG place and not everyone that could possibly read this post is lucky enough call this great land home, but please remain respectful. Well, that's mostly all I have to say about that. God bless the USA and the United States military. God bless the men and women that laid down their lives for our great country and God bless the brave ones that made it home alive and that are serving our country right now. Indy Dipper, out.

Some Wintergreen and SVU - Dip Talk

Indy Dipper here with the first edition of Dip Talk. A pinch of Grizzly Wintergreen LC A.K.A Old Faithful, in my lip and I'm ready to rock n' roll! Today I'm gonna talk about Law and Order: SVU. It's one of my favorite shows. I mean, I watch the reruns on USA. I absolutely despise everything after season 11. You're probably asking yourself, 'Why does ol' Indy Dipper hate everything after season 11?' Well, invisible voice in my head, it comes down to one simple explanation. THERE'S NO STABLER! Detective Stabler IS, or rather was the franchise, man! His honesty and hot headed temperament made the show what it was. I mean, past Olivia Benson was a smoke show and she is a big part of the show as well, but she gets on my nerves. She's full of constant hunches and opinions that just piss me off as a fan of the show, as well as a human being. I saw an episode the other day, where this chick was all like, "I was raped." And then later in the episode she wasn't raped and she just didn't want her parents to know that she was having sex. Benson was still in that girl's corner. Defending her to the ADA saying that she was confused and stuff like that. No bitch! She is a liar and she filed a false police report. Arrest that bitch, brother! Besides my disdain for Detective Benson's personality, there's another reason for my love for this show. The ADA's are all babes. Casey Novak and Alex Cabot? Yes'm! Get my wolf whistle going! I almost forgot the fact that they made Ice T a detective as well. What's better than a lispy detective with a bad attitude and a pony tail? Nothing. You also have the Dale Gribble of Manhattan SVU, John Munch. He's the best use of comic relief in any cop drama that I've ever witnessed. All in all, seasons 1-11 are the greatest, friend. This concludes the very first post of Dip Talk. I'm going to spit out my plug and eat something. ID, out.

A Little Update

I've been a little busy, but I'm gonna start my first Dip Talk tomorrow. Keep looking to see the post! Indy Dipper out.

What is Dip Talk?

Indy Dipper here! I thought I'd try something out. I'm going to call these posts Dip Talk. What I'm going to do is start everyone of these posts with what I'm dipping at the time and then I'll talk about current events or a tv show, song, etc. I'm going to try it out and if you guys don't like it, comment and I'll move on to something else. I'll be posting the first one soon.

My First Legal Can Of Dip

By the time I turned 18, I had been frequently getting my fix from my friends, but now I could finally buy a can for myself. I had been waiting for this moment for as long as I could remember. This was my shot, I had gotten $50 from my grandparents for my birthday and I knew what I was gonna spend it on. The first thing I did was take my girlfriend, well now ex-girlfriend, on a breakfast date. She didn't appreciate it because she knew she was going to dump me the day after my actual birthday. I know. A real bitch move, eh? But anyways, a couple days after the date it was my actual birthday! I woke up and took my brothers to school and ran out of gas on the way. So that sucked, but because of that blunder, my mom let me stay home. So, no school for the Dipmeister. What to do, what to do? Oh yea! I could go buy dip! I got a shower and went on my merry way. I went to the local Speedway gas station and got pretty nervous because I frequented that establishment and I didn't want the cashier ladies thinking I was some "local hooligan" looking to score some tobacco. So, I walked back towards my house and noticed my now favorite gas station. I went in and stumbled on my words, but I finally got it out. "Two cans of Grizzly Wintergreen Longcut, please." The Middle eastern gentleman behind the counter looked at me and said, "Do you have an I.D., sir?" I looked back at him with panic! I then realized that I was infact old enough to buy tobacco products an slapped that bad boy on the counter with a saucy reply, "Yes. I. Do." He looked at it for what seemed to be forever and then he turned around and grabbed two cans of old faithful from behind the counter. He handed them to me and requested my payment to which I payed the man. So, after the transaction, I grabbed the cans and made my way back to my house. I grabbed an empty two liter bottle to spit in and sat down on the couch. I was so excited. All I could think was that I officially bought my first can of dip. I took a pinch and ready'd myself for the biggest buzz of my life. It was awesome. I was on top of the world until I felt that queasy, throw uppy feeling. I then ran to the kitchen and threw up. I'm talking full on projectile. After I cleaned myself up, I sat back down in shame and watched some tv. I put another pinch in and I successfully handled the buzz this time around. I was so proud of myself that I jumped up with joy before I had to sit back down because surprise, surprise, head buzz. Well, anyway that's the story of the first time I bought dip legally. I hope y'all enjoyed it. 

My top 5 worst dips

I previously posted a list of my top 5 favorites dips, so here's my list of the ones I absolutely can't stand.

5. Grizzly Mint LC- I absolutely can't stand any mint dips, so this one is a given. It's awful. It gives Grizzly a bad name.

4. Skoal Mint LC- Holy shit! Surprise, surprise. It's another mint dip. Oh, but this is the worst mint dip imaginable. It's just grotesque and it gives me some of the worst heart burn ever.

3. Skoal Cherry LC- Skoal is just a nasty dip in general. It's like they had accidentally poured a bottle of Benadryl into a can of perfectly good dip. It's the epitome of cough syrup.

2. Skoal Wintergreen LC- I am a Wintergreen aficionado. Like, there's nothing in this dip world that I love more than my old faithful, but this stuff is repulsive. It literally tastes like Pepto, I wouldn't use this stuff for an upset stomach because it'd only make it worse. By worse, I mean I'd probably puke some more.

1. Skoal Berry LC- There's nothing in this world that I despise more than Skoal Berry. I mean, I hate pouches more, but that's beside the point. This stuff is more revolting than 1000 puke buckets after mystery meat days during school lunch. Who's idea was it to make this shit?

So, here's my list and I'm sticking to it. Other honorable mentions are: Stokers Mint, Skoal Citrus, and any pouch dip.

Why I HATE pouches

Hey! Indy Dipper here! I'm gonna tell y'all why I hate pouches. Here we go. Let's get past all the talk about "dipping pouches makes you a pussy" and let's bring up the fact that dipping pouches is pretty much like drinking a beer through a bed sheet or having sex with a condom. YOU'RE NOT GETTING THE FULL EFFECT! Its like you're missing out on the concept. I, personally, like the feeling of a plug nestled up inbetween my gums and my lip. The feeling of a pouch in your lip is like a package of salt. It's just awful. Now let's get around to the fact that dipping a pouch makes you the biggest, baldest vag out there. Can you not handle the tingly sensation in the bowls of your lip? That's one of the best parts, man. Does it burn too much? I don't get it. What's the point? That's all I gotta say about that.

My top 5 favorite dips

I'm bored, sitting at home. So, I thought I'd write a list out telling y'all about my favorite dips in a top five list.

5. Grizzly Straight LC- Now I've ranked Grizzly straight as number 5 because it's flavor is real nice for a straight flavored dip and it's cheap too.

4. Skoal Apple- I know y'all are out there thinking, 'This guy's a little bitch for liking a fruity dip.' But in my opinion it's probably the greatest flavor Skoal has to offer. It's not an over powering flavor and it sits real nice in your lip. It's an occasional dip for me and I only use it when I get tired of the flavor I'm stuck on. It's like a nice palette cleanser.

3. Copenhagen Southern Blend- Now this stuff'll bring a nice swift kick of the south to your salivary glands. It's got a nice, chill taste and it really helps you unwind after a long day.

2. Kodiak Wintergreen LC- Now this stuff would be my daily dipper if it didn't cost so dang much. It's got an amazing flavor and it's not an overpowering one either. If you're looking for a delicious wintergreen to dip while you're sitting in your private jet, this is for you.

1. Grizzly Wintergreen LC- like y'all thought I'd say anything else. This is the mother of all dips. (Even though Grizzly has only been around since 2001) it has completely taken over the market in the Midwest, and rightfully so. It's got the perfect amount of wintergreen flavor and you won't go broke having it as a daily dipper. If you have any doubts, go check out my post where I profess my love for the stuff. 

Well there's my list and I'm sticking to it. Other honorable mentions, Cope Wintergreen, Cope Black, Timberwolf Peach, and Stokers natty.

An ode to My Old Faithful

As a young dip enthusiast, I have had the pleasure of trying as many kinds of brands and flavors as I could since the day I could buy myself a can, but my favorite from day one has, and always will be Grizly Wintergreen Long cut. Lemme tell you why. The packability is impeccable. At the whack of a finger, you can get the perfect pinch every time. It's the best tasting wintergreen out there, in my opinion. It's flavor is consistent and it never fails to make my day 10x better. Sure, it gets stuck in my teeth, but what dip doesn't. Not to mention, it's so cheap that I can afford to buy it on a limited income. Oh Grizzly! You're my best friend and you'll never fail me. Unless there's the  chance of me getting diagnosed with the plight of cancer, but I'll take my chances. Even through thick and thin, I'll love it 'til the end.

My first dipping experience

Here's a little diddy about my first time dipping. I was a young whipper snapper, about 14 years old, and I always wanted to try dip because my dad had been using the stuff since as long as I can remember. I loved the smell of a freshly cracked can. The aroma would loft through our home and it would reach my prepubescent nostrils and my mind would race as I would wonder how the magical stuff would taste. Well, one day I got my chance. You see, the old man left a can of Grizzly Wintergreen Long Cut in his pants pocket and mom found it and placed the tin on top of the dryer, so she wouldn't wash it with the load of laundry. Dad didn't know it was there, but ol' Indy Dipper did. I swiped that can from atop the dryer and placed it in my back pocket. Well, time passed by and my parents went to work. I called my buddy over to hang out with my older brother and me. While we were coming up with ideas for what we should do on that summer day, I was itchin' to get a pinch in my lip. So, I suggested we walk to Walmart to get some snacks. My buddies thought that was a great idea, so they headed out the back door and I opened my can and put a hogger in. I started buzzing right away and it felt weird, yet extremely pleasing. So, I started after my brother and my buddy. As I started running to catch up with them, I felt all light headed and I felt like I was gonna hurl, but I toughed through it. What I didn't realize was that I swallowed my spit. I was like a ticking time bomb and the inevitable was going to happen any minute. Any who, I finally caught up to my pals and started talking to them. Halfway through my sentence I puked all over the grass. It wouldn't stop, I mean, this was like a super soaker just splashing the ground like it was a hot hootchie at a wet t-shirt contest. By the time I was done looking like an amateur, my brother looked at me and started laughing although he was completely oblivious to the fact that I had a dip in. So, we kept on our way to the store. Anyways, I didn't touch the stuff until about 3 years later and for good measure I made damn sure I wasn't doing anything active the next time.

Welcome to my blog!

Hi! I'm Indy Dipper, comin'atcha from Dip City, USA. Where it's chew o'clock all day, every day. I'll be posting about my experiences with this beautiful call the whacky tobaccy! I'll post reviews about differ flavors of dip and also just fun stories about my life. So enjoy!